You are a man-animal when you sleep. Your breath rustles past airways I would leap through; want to lie beside. You are heavy. Barely awake, but an instinctive arm over and around the shape of me, nustling me in. I can do all the things I always do, forget nothing, explore every side of myself, onward, onward, and something lets me breathe more deeply than ever I have; lets me submit; lets me choose to, only because of you. You ache inside with all the things you understand, and I have seen the same things, and made light of them; I widen a single eye and you release, curling up your mouth, finally understood. Didn’t you build your empire, row by row? Didn’t you burn paper money to find something more real? I was waiting, all that time, and lighting matches, too. Continue reading
I find it quite interesting (by which I mean annoying) that when I play a piano piece I used to know very well, but which has – through my recent abandon of it – started the gentle cascade towards only semi-memory, it is the old favourite parts that I mis-play, or forget completely. I get to the most beautiful part of a piece; the section I would once have felt my way through with my eyes closed, or while gazing absently at the blue picture frame in front of me (which used to belong to my Grandma and contains a poem about how much more we would value the world if it were small enough to fit in our hands), but this time my fingers freak out and have no idea what to do. Continue reading
Aside from posting occasional photos of what I love to eat on instagram (how clichéd of me!), you may have noticed that I never talk about what I consider to be moral choices around food. This is deliberate, and this is a rare and unusual share/post for me, but I also have to admit that I find the (much-lampooned) obsession vegans have with drawing attention to their cause understandable; it truly IS difficult not to want to draw attention to the reality of our food industry when you have decided to become aware (and it is absolutely a choice to become aware!) that many of its practices are very far from acceptable, shouldn’t be happening, and are spiritually, emotionally and in all other ways degenerative.
It is hard not to want to spread the facts, not to shout them from the rooftops; but it is confronting to feel judged for your choices and for shying away from the responsibility that comes with the impact that each of us have as individuals on a food industry which is rife with direct and countable victims, who are subjected to pain and suffering and mistreatment at unspeakable levels, needlessly. It isn’t personal choice anymore when there are victims involved. It’s a reality which any of us can choose at any moment to have no part in.
For a very long time I was vegetarian and saw nothing wrong with eating eggs. Continue reading